I have been doing a lot of reading lately, well this is pretty normal for me in all honestly. However I have been really interested in learning more about what this pandemic period has done to moms mentally and emotionally. In order to best understand I really needed to start documenting and having a bit more self-awareness on how this effected me personally. What did I notice as changes in my mood or behavior? What were my triggers? And really trying to drill into this notion that we can be both happy and sad.
There is some conditioning for me around this topic of being happy and sad simultaneously, that I have been trying to unpack. I’m not sure if it was simply created in my own head, or things I was told or picked up on in my life. Isn’t it so much more peaceful though to accept that happy isn’t this absolute feeling without any presence of sad. It probably ties back to my perfectionist standards that I unrealistically have set for myself for 41 years lol. The reason I bring this up is because there is a underlying sadness that has lingered for all of us since the onset of this pandemic. And I would like to argue that this has been felt a bit more deeply by mothers. We tend to be the “emotional gatekeepers” for all. I’m not sure I wanted to sign up for this job, I’m sure you are nodding your head as you read this like me either. However, there is this innate sense of emotional awareness and protection that we carry and we want to fix it for those we love. So we get to work, we carry the emotions of those around us and want to heal and take any pain away. But what if we flip the script, happy + sad is ok. Feeling this way is ok. And learning to still smile and accept that even if it’s not all roses it’s ok….
I recently read a book called Mindset by and it completely opened my eyes to my own behavior and how it shifted during this pandemic time. I think it was the combination of unknowns and the pressures of raising three small kids when at the time the pandemic hit they were 2 and 4.