I have been thinking a lot lately about how although we are amidst a pandemic, life seems to be passing us by, it is moving like a full speed train. Does this ring true for you too? And I keep going through this range of emotions. Some days I’m ok with this moment in time. The busyness has come to a halt, in fact when I have to pack the kids up to do anything these days it seems more overwhelming because we are out of the routine of Go Go Go.... the stillness + peace of being present. And for so many working out of the home normally you are not able to see every moment happening around you with your kids. The cuteness wears off quick(it’s a good thing they are so cute), but you are still right there watching this movie of your life.
And then other days are flat out just HARD. Like can’t think HARD. Where washing dishes and changing a diaper feels like you are climbing Mt.Everest. The walls feel like they are closing in on you + you are exhausted. The kind where you have never been so tired in your life. The kind where you have no idea how you will keep your eyes open till bedtime. You are done having to think of all the things, and did your husband really just ask you where the kids pajamas are? Doesn’t he live here too? And is that a clump of cheerios attached to the floor? Did a kid just poop in their diaper AGAIN? Mommy, I want a snack, MOMMY SNACK... I have counted..my kids ask for snacks approximately 50 times per day. That’s 50 times I need to stop what I’m doing and break my thoughts for SNACKS?! Who knew this was a full time job, “Snack Keeper” when I win the lotto you are hired Snack Keeper wherever you are. This was always hard, but the difference is if you work outside the home, you had breaks. And if you are a stay at home mom, you most likely didn’t have all of these kids home. Maybe you would make the kids breakfast and off to school they go, you wouldn't then feed them lunch. You know have made 3 meals a day for almost 5 months!! And how do we even keep up with food supply in the house? Our grocery bill has doubled and now food shopping and not forgetting anything has become quite the challenge. And still every single time I forget something, even when I write it down. Why? Because I have too many mental tabs open, we all do. Target curbside has become almost a daily stop because of the things I forget on the grocery list lol, but grateful for all of the curbside pickup. Don’t ever go away curbside pickup, this is life changing for a Mama with little kids.
And the laundry, we aren’t really doing much out of the house? But still the laundry is endless, the house is always a mess and no matter where I look there’s a toy, a wrapper, food, clothes, REPEAT. I feel like we are living groundhogs day over here.
So cut yourself some slack, because our plate was never supposed to be overflowing and it’s not humanely possible to do all of this. Repeat after me, “ It is not humanely possible to do all of this”. Well unless you can function on an hour of sleep and want to be the most miserable Mama. I supposed you can get it done, but at the risk of too much. And why? Why does it even matter to get it all done right now? It’s just not what is important.
I’ve been finding myself spending more time looking through my camera roll lately, and this is exactly how I figured out how quickly life is passing me by. If you take the time to go through, you probably are like me and don’t remember half of the pictures you took. Why? Because we are doing SO MUCH, our brain doesn’t have time to just soak it up. But when you can go back and look at all the memories you have created, all these special moments together, moments of pure joy and heart explosion really. It reminds you that this is what life is about. All of this time that you have created with your kids, those smiles + giggles well yes the tantrums too. It’s human emotion, the greatest gift we have documented right there for us. These moments are what make life rich + full. So when it gets really hard, which is probably by 7:53 am on a Tuesday, stop and look through your camera roll for a few minutes. It just may be just the reminder and pick me up that you need.
Denielle @ Love For Mama
Here are a few moments on my camera roll:)