Things You Should Not Say To Someone Dealing With Infertility – Love For Mama

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Things You Should Not Say To Someone Dealing With Infertility


It has been a hectic few months and I have taken a bit of time away from the blog, life has happened.  We have all been there, when you get thrown off course and aren't quite sure how to get back on track, and then one day it just happens.  My baby sister got married and all of my kids were in the wedding so it was busy.  My oldest son also had eye surgery, so I was in a bit of denial as I was dealing with that.  And unfortunately he will most likely need another surgery, but that is for another day.  I will certainly share how I went through the motions of that, but a huge pat on the back to my husband there.  What I learned from this is that nothing can prepare you for motherhood, it is truly something you learn as you go.  You find strength along the way that you never knew you had and also because you don't have a choice.

For those of you that are new here, my name is Denielle and I am a Mama of 3 kiddos 4 and under and this picture is me about 8 months pregnant with my boy/girl twins Emma and Drew.  It was a long road to get here and I do not take it for granted, and believe me there are some really tough days right now.  Twin toddlers is quite honestly the hardest thing in motherhood I have ever experienced.  I almost didn't have this opportunity, so I embrace it. 

On my road of infertility IUI with my first son Chase and IVF with my twins there were so many comments made to me about things I could do to conceive.  Well let me tell you these were big NO NO's, I was an emotional mess at this time and these were the LAST things I wanted to hear.  I thought it would be good to point out what these things are to help those that are battling infertility and for those that may know someone who is experiencing the road of infertility.

1.Just relax ,have some wine with your husband and unwind, it will just happen.  (I could throw something at my computer screen as I type this one.  No in fact it won't just happen, in my case my husband had low sperm count and I had a poor ovarian reserve)

2.  There are worse things that can happen- In fact you are right, I am alive and breathing and clearly it can be worse.  I know that, but it doesn't make it any easier.  It is gut wrenching for a person who has dreamt of being a Mama to think about never being a Mama.  Until you are in this position, you really aren't allowed to comment on it.

3.  Do not gossip about your friends condition, infertility is private and takes many a long time if ever to talk about.  Be respectful of their privacy, if they want to talk about it they will.

4.  If you are pregnant, I know it can be exhausting and you may feel completely wiped out.  Know your audience, do not complain to your friend trying to conceive.  Be sensitive to how hard this must be on them.

5.Don't ask whos fault it is, honestly they probably do not want to discuss the details so don't ask.  If they are ready to talk about it, they will fill you in and if not, don't pry.

That is all for now, more to come shortly.





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1 comment

  • Great post!! As someone who also conceived my first with fertility specialist. So many ups and down. But thank god for IVF!! That’s why my first daughter is here!

    Danielle Rieker

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